The Valentine's Day Disconnect

So it's Valentine's Day. Hurray! And yes, there is a tone of sarcasm in there (it doesn't come across well in print). Forgive the cynicism but this holiday often brings that out of me. That might have a lot to do with the fact that once again I am single during it, but for a holiday that comes across as being exclusively for couples and seems to punish those who are not part of one, I think I have a right to feel this way. It's like that episode of The Simpsons where Burns tells the plant that everyone who's found love can leave early. Everyone cheers and runs off, except for one poor guy who looks down at the floor sadly while a single tear runs down his cheek. That's how I feel today.

Romance in general has been a touchy point for me lately, and part of that is my tendency to watch court shows while I'm off during the day. There have been soooo many cases involving exes, and it seems to be a feature today. All these people who were once head over heels in love and now hate each other with a blistering passion. It's sad, kind of sick in it's own way, and seems to be fairly common.

Now me, I've never been big on dating. Which is kind of a problem, as everyone tells me I have to get out there if I want to meet the guy of my dreams. Yeah. Dating, to me, is exactly what Jerry Seinfeld once described it as; "A job interview that lasts all night".

My brother thinks part of the problem, not just for me but for a lot of girls, is what he likes to call "Disney-itis". He defines it as that unrealistic expectation that a lot of Disney movies, and movies in general, instill in women that there is a perfect guy out there and once you meet him, you'll know. My brother insists life isn't like that, that you have to kiss a few frogs to get to the prince, and that a lot of great guys are getting passed up because they don't meet that 'Prince' criteria. To give you an example, after doing the Tim Burton exhibit I put on Corpse Bride last night, one of my favorite Burton movies. Despite it's grim subject matter, it's a very romantic movie, and features one of my best loved movie couples, Victor and Victoria, two soft-spoken individuals who have been intended for each other by their parents, and find from their first meeting that their wedding, that they'd both been dreading, couldn't come fast enough. Unfortunately, a mistake and a lovely but dead bride named Emily throws a wrench in the proceedings. But you just know that love will conquer all, right?

My brother may have a point, that a lot of movies may instill unrealistic expectations about what romance and courtship should be (I mean, some of them do feature the living marrying the dead after all). But I can't help but wonder, well, what's wrong with finding your perfect mate? I see so many women in these daytime TV shows putting up with sub-par men for a variety of reasons, likely because romance eliminated all traces of logic and common sense in them, but one likely reason being that they just don't want to be alone or they're under pressure to be in a relationship by the people around them. So they cause themselves no limit of heartache dealing with these losers just so they can say they have a Valentine on Valentine's Day. What the hell? I admit I haven't dated much in my life, but I knew from a very young age that I would much rather be alone than with someone who doesn't get me, who doesn't make me happy or excited or passionate. In short, I'm not willing to waste my time with someone unless there's even a remote chance that he'll check off any of the above list. Not all of it necessarily, but at least some if it. At the very least, I want to be excited to see his email rather than "Oh God, I guess I should answer him and be polite out of a sense of societal obligations". I've never had that before. Really, is that so much to ask? That I find a guy who makes me feel happy, who can talk to me and understand what I feel and just makes me feel love and loved?

In the mean time, I'm going to go treat myself a little today, maybe with a cupcake and a new book, and get a heart shaped pizza for me and my roommate. Why the hell not? If you can't love yourself, you can't love anyone else, right?

And as for romance one day coming my way, well, hope springs eternal. Someday, my prince will come...

My annual war on Christmas begins even earlier

I saw the most ridiculous thing yesterday. A Christmas commercial. Do you notice the date on the calendar? Halloween hasn't even happened yet.

Hell to the no! I am such a big advocate of keeping Christmas at Christmas time, that to see a commercial before my second favorite holiday has even happened just burns my canolli. They are not taking Halloween from me, darn it! Who's with me?

Summer movie watch: Rough waters ahead

So my new EW has the provocatively titled article "What's Wrong With This Summer's Movies?" It appears that box office revenue's are down about $147 million so far, and 2010 had the worst Memorial Day box office since 2001. Eeep! The article argues that by this time last year two future Best Picture nominees had been released and several blockbusters had arrived. Definitely not so this year.

So what gives? Bad movies seems to be the main explanation. Sex and the City 2 fizzled both with critics and with ticket sales, and has since had the even more dubious distinction of being taken off my must-see summer movie list. The Killers, Prince of Persia and Shrek: Forever After all have taken big hits from their reviews and it shows in their weak opening weekends. Could it also be, as the article suggests, that we've been majorly spoiled with great TV shows that have just wrapped for the season, and we therefore don't have the patience for mediocre crap like we used to? Both valid arguments.

What irks me, however, is there have been a couple of good movies released the last few weeks that I think should have gotten higher box-office draws. Get Him to the Greek is one. The night I went to see it my roommate and I had narrowed our choices to either that or SATC. We went with Greek because, as I argued, it had better critical praise and it was an hour shorter. And it was good, damn it, as I pointed out in my earlier review. So why did it cough up only $18 million it's opening weekend.

Anther film is The A-Team, which, I've discovered, pulled in a low enough opening weekend that hopes for a sequel have been pretty much scrapped. What the hell? It was so fun! So what if it wasn't Oscar worthy, it was a great summer movie! I would've loved to see round two. Life so is not fair.

So what does all this mean? Not sure. Perhaps Hollywood's umpteenth wake-up call? The summer season is still early, so hopefully things can still pick up. Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World has been added to my summer list, which will hopefully salve my wounds over Sex and the City. I'd even bought a shirt with a stiletto to wear when I went and saw Carrie and the girls. That shirt will have to wait for something special (cue tear drop).

Lady Gaga's Alejandro video bows

So Lady Gaga's new video for "Alejandro" was released today, which happens to be one of my favorite Gaga songs. And may I just say that I totally called that "Alejandro" would be one of her singles from her last album The Fame Monster.

My summary of this new 8min clip: Cool, but what the hell?

Gaga does what she does best; selecting different aspects of the cultural landscape and mixing them together into something new. For this particular offering she takes her cues from gay culture, the military, Cabaret and even Catholicism to come up with something vaguely Gothic, rather stylized, risque and compelling to watch, though you're not quite sure what you're looking at. There's no storyline to speak of, and there are bowl cuts on a lot of the guys to go with their high heels, and a bra with machine guns. Yeah, I don't get it. Like it, but don't get it. And there seems to be a funeral and a gang bang in it as well. Hopefully an explanation will be forthcoming.

Check it out here.

Idol Upset: Can this season be saved?

Siobhan Magnus got kicked off American Idol. I say it again, Siobhan Magnus got kicked off! What the hell? She was one of the most interesting contestants, and she was a great singer. She was an early front-runner for the top two!

This has got to be one of the weirdest seasons of AI ever! Nothing would shock me anymore. Well, at least Crystal, Lee and Casey are still in it. I've always liked Crystal's music, but her whole attitude of "I'm only here for my son" was starting to rub me the wrong way. But when she broke down and cried during one of her last performances she rose several notches in my book. At that moment we finally saw a hint that this actually meant something to her.

Lee has gone so much further than anyone would have predicted. He gets better and more confident each week. And Casey? Ahhh Casey, with his halo of golden hair, his raspy rock growl, his blue eyes...I'm sorry, what was I saying? Mike and Aaron are alright, but nothing about either really stands out to me.

So long Siobhan. Let's hope your quirkiness and big voice will find another platform to shine on.

So, can this season be saved? Sound off.

What does South Park get for hitting the big 200? Death threats

South Park hit a major milestone these last two weeks with their 200th and 201st episodes. And true to form both episodes featured a lot of controversial stuff and, of course, people took notice. But this time, perhaps the wrong people took notice.

Personally I enjoyed the episodes quite a bit. The story centered around a joint lawsuit by celebrities who have been burned by the show in the past and want to sue the town of South Park. They agree to drop the lawsuit if the townspeople can produce the prophet Muhammad. Without giving any of the plot details or surprises away, I'll just say that both episodes featured references to past episode plot lines and attempted to re-address past events, which I think worked really well as a tribute to how far the show has come.

But, like I said, it turns out the wrong people took notice. And unlike a lot of people who are put off by the show, these people said something about it. The people in question are Revolution Muslim, a New York-based radical Muslim organization, and their beef was with the Muhammad subplot. Here's what they wrote on their website after "200" aired in the United States, about four days before it aired here in Canada.

"We have to warn Matt and Trey (Matt Stone and Trey Parker, the creators of the show) that what they are doing is stupid and they will probably wind up like Theo Van Gogh for airing this show. This is not a threat, but a warning of the reality of what will likely happen to them."

For those of you like me who are not too up to speed with world events, Theo Van Gogh was a filmmaker who was murdered in 2004 by an Islamic extremist for making a short film about violence against women in Islamic societies. So yeah...this is not a threat towards Matt and Trey but a 'warning'. And the fact that the website also posted a link to an article which gives details about Stone and Parker's mansion in Colorado and made references to other people who have been threatened or killed by Islamic extremists apparently also doesn't mean this should be construed as a threat. No, not at all.

It should be pointed out that Muhammad was never shown on screen during the episode but was instead censored. But, that apparently wasn't enough.

News media picked up on the quote and, of course, interpreted it as a threat. But my favorite reaction to this came from Jon Stewart, who spoke out in support of his Comedy Central brethren Matt and Trey on The Daily Show with him and a gospel choir singing "Go F**K Yourself" to Revolution Muslim.

Comedy Central, while they declined to comment on the website quote, were apparently very rattled by it. The following week they aired "201" the conclusion to "200" but it was heavily censored. Even the word "Muhammad" was bleeped, as was the entirety of Kyle's final speech. Some subsidiaries of Comedy Central refused to air the episode at all. I can only hope the DVD release will be complete and uncensored.

A couple of problems I have with this whole thing. The first of course being any radical group issuing death threats against anyone. Secondly, the irony of the fact that Radical Muslim is based in New York, and are therefore able to enjoy the freedom of speech they apparently don't feel that South Park has any right to. Thirdly the fact that Comedy Central, though I'm sure with the best of intentions for protecting their staff, pretty much gave into this hysteria and over-bleeped their follow up episode, where they even aired it at all. Many critics blasted the network for giving the Muslim extremists this public victory and that it would result in more threats from radical groups, and I agree. My final issue is that this whole controversy of showing Muhammad on screen has now been addressed twice in South Park with "200", "201" and the two-parter "The Cartoon Wars" back in 2006. But the fact of the matter is that South Park has already shown Muhammad on screen in the July 2001 episode "Super Best Friends" with nary a ripple of backlash. Granted, that was just before the September 11th terrorist attacks, and no one will argue that, among other things, the cultural landscape changed forever that day. But it still boggles my mind that there would be so much fuss over something that has already happened before.

So a pretty shocking way to ring in 200 episodes, a landmark that would be a happy and proud moment for most series. I hope that everyone at South Park can still take this in with pride, and continue to push the boundaries in a funny, heart-felt way. I don't pretend to fully understand all of the idiosyncrasies of Muslim radicalism and the impact it has, but I hope that no radical group of any belief would ever stomp out that most sacred of rights: freedom of speech. Because, as was so eloquently pointed out in "The Cartoon Wars", "...if we aren't willing to risk what we have, then we just believe in free speech, but we don't defend it."

Any reactions to all this? Post away.

Shocker! Conan's new show - on TBS!

So Conan O'Brien has just been signed to a new show to air this fall.

That's not shocking news. That's excellent, well-deserved and fully expected news. No my friends the shocker is that this new show will be airing...on TBS!

TBS? Really? Most insiders had anticipated that O'Brien would create ties with Fox, but apparently the basic cable channel beat the major network to it.

I would be happy to see Conan on TV at all, seeing as how I'm still bitter over the whole Leno-gate situation and how O'Brien totally got the short end of it. Except for on thing; I don't get TBS where I live. What the heck am I supposed to do come September? I hope to God that a Canadian station will also pick it up and air it here. Please, please, please...

Anyone else out there as surprised as I am? Or do you think this turn of events makes sense?

The one and only time Joss Whedon broke my heart

Joss Whedon. A name that commands the utmost respect in the pantheons of geekdom. Very few individuals in any media have brought us such side-splitting humor mixed with heart-wrenching drama and deep mythological lore. Over several different series with many different characters, Whedon has pushed the boundaries and redefined television several times. The term 'Whedonverse' hasn't been coined for nothing.

In case you can't tell, I'm a big fan.

My first big exposure to Whedon came from a little show called Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Maybe you've heard of it? In my humble opinion, which is shared by many critics and fans alike, it is a travesty that Buffy didn't get any real recognition from the Emmy Awards over it's seven seasons. A more complex, sharp-witted, funny, dramatic, heart-breaking, action-packed, well-acted and written hour of television you'd be very hard-pressed to find. It's spin off, Angel, also had it's moments.

Then I was introduced by two of my friends (who were fellow members of the University of Waterloo Buffy Watcher's club; yes, I am that much of a geek) to Firefly, Whedon's short lived Western-in-Space experiment. Why that show got cancelled, I'll never know and forever regret. It had the scope of vision that Buffy had, with a band of outlaws traveling in a space-ship in a far and distant future. You wouldn't think that it's Wild-West flavour, villains of both the government and cannibal variety and Mandarin swear words would work well together, but by God they did! And the characters and story lines had just as much humor and depth that Whedon's other projects had shown. But then it was cancelled. Boo! Fortunately, the fans got another taste in the feature-length film Serenity.

But every subject of fan worship is allowed to hit a stumbling block or two. For me, that came about when the show Dollhouse premiered on Fox in February of 2009. I was all excited for Whedon to return to television, and I was looking forward to discovering a new world added to the Whedonverse.

I think I lasted about three or four episodes, then stopped watching. What gives?

It's not that it was a bad show...but it was one that just did not appeal to me. The plot lines were somewhat intriguing, and what I saw hinted at a very rich future ahead that would be carefully laid out as we went along. But it was a no go for me.

Why? Two reasons. The first was that I just could not get behind the premise. The whole idea of taking human beings and stripping away their memories, their personalities...basically what makes them who they are and reprogramming them as someone else time and time again was just so deplorable to me I could not root for the organizations known as 'The Dollhouses'.

The second reason was that I could not get behind and support the shows main character either. That would be Echo, portrayed by Eliza Dushku (who, if you're keeping track, played Faith on Buffy). Echo was one of the 'actives' or 'dolls' who was reprogrammed every episode as a new person and hired out for a variety of missions. And while Dushku handled the acting challenge very nicely, I think there was one thing the creators of the show didn't consider: How in the heck were we supposed to get to know and cheer for a character who was a different character every episode? It just wasn't going to happen, at least not for me.

Apparently I was not the only one who thought so. Due to low ratings Dollhouse was officially cancelled in November of 09, and the final episodes aired this past January. As sad as I am that another Whedon show was cancelled so soon, to me Dollhouse just was not in the same league as Firefly, so it is not a loss I'm going to loose sleep over.

So there you have it folks. The one time Joss Whedon broke my heart. But like I said, we all stumble and fall every once in a while. Even geek icons who have whole universes named after them. So Joss, I forgive you.

Now if you really want to make it up to me, how about giving Spike his own movie?

The mystery of the Tearjerker

What does it take to make you cry? Tough question, and one I've found is not easily answered for a lot of us. For some people tears are not easily shed. They can feel deeply, but they just don't express it that way. For others, like me, it does not take much at all to bring tears to the eyes.

But this leads to another question. What does a movie need to do to make you cry? What makes a film a so-called 'tearjerker'? There are lots of sad movies out there that are designed to bring about an array of emotions. And if we're being honest, sometimes they don't succeed. There are happy movies that can make someone tear up as well. Like everything else I think it's different for different people. Kind of a cop-out answer, but what can you do? For what it's worth, here are a few that have brought about that reaction in me. And not just my eyes welling up, which happens quite often, but actually crying.

Cheetah - The first movie I can remember that pushed me over the edge. That last scene was just so sad for an impressionable child like me. Besides it's about an animal. That alone will do it.

Moulin Rouge - I've seen this movie like eight times, and it makes me cry every time. Even when you know how it ends, the final scene with Ewan MacGregor and Nicole Kidman is so brilliantly acted you just can't turn the tears off.

Brokeback Mountain - I almost made it through the whole thing without the waterworks, though I got close a few times. Then, one line did me in. "Jack, I swear..." And cue Niagara Falls.

The Last Temptation of Christ - Yes, I know, this is a controversial film, but honestly no other movie on Christ has moved me like this one has. The scene in the garden, when Willem Defoe's Jesus breaks down, I broke down with him.

Up - Thank God I was wearing 3D glasses; they hid my red, tear-stained eyes nicely. Anything to do with Ellie, and I was bawling.

Judging from the release dates of most of these titles, it seems like the whole crying-at-movies has mostly been a recent phenomena for me.

Anyway, food for thought. If you're brave enough to admit it, what films have made you cry over the years? And what films have been described as tearjerkers but have left you dry eyed. Sound off below.

"Telephone" music video: Lady Gaga & Beyonce are Bad, Bad Girls

Everyone has been abuzz this weekend over Lady Gaga's new video for "Telephone", her single with other major pop star Beyonce. After viewing it last night, I have to join the adulation. It's a fun little 10 min mini-movie with nods to Quentin Tarantino and Betty Page and features a super stylish prison for women. Like many of LG's video masterpieces, "Telephone" is weird, colorful and cutting edge. And Beyonce seems more than willing to get in on it too.

I'm big on the Gaga Train, and I love her willingness to push the boundaries when it comes to fashion and just about everything else, but I have to ask; Does she have to appear half-naked in every one of her music videos? 'M just sayin'.

Take a look here and post away. What do you think of the Pussy Wagon making a cameo? Pretty cool, right?

The shock of the top twelve and my current annoyance with Idol

Just a quick update on my love-hate relationship with American Idol. The top twelve have been revealed, and there were some cuts I completely agreed with. Like Alex Lambert. How dare he share the same surname with my beloved Adam? I didn't get his appeal at all, he was way too timid and he had one of the worst haircuts I've ever seen. But other more talented stars got cut while less talented, or at least less appealing, ones stayed on. And I'm left scratching my head. Again.

I gotta say I was so annoyed with the first three live performances, I almost stopped watching right then and there. They were so...bland, so safe, so totally uninteresting. Plus, the 70s rocker went home that first week. I really liked him. I did applaud his willingness to call the judges out on their sometimes misleading advice, as shocking is was for a contestant to do that. The judges are a bit contradictory. It had to be said.

Really, I'm hanging in here purely for Simon, and because I still hold out hope that this will get better. Perhaps my faith is ill-placed. We shall see.

Check out AmericanIdol.com for the skinny.

Stylo video released

My main reaction to the new music video from Gorillaz could best be summed up in seven words: "Oh my God, is that Bruce Willis!?" Turns out it is him. How cool is that?

Otherwise I kind of felt like Homer did during a flashback episode of The Simpsons when he was watching an episode of Twin Peaks. "Brilliant! I have absolutely no idea what's going on."

It's a high-paced, car chase of a video, similar in vein to the virtual band's earlier offering for "19-2000". Except this time, where most of their past videos are either traditionally animated or a combination of traditional animation and live-action, "Stylo" features a mix of live-action and computer animation, which I believe is the first time that's happened in their music videos (I have most of their previous videos on my iPod, so I've had a chance to look). The results look great, and gives "Stylo" more of a cinematic feel. Willis helps with that too.

Otherwise though, I'm not sure what this is all about. Murdoc Niccals, 2D and the new android Noodle are driving down a desert road in a bullet-riddled roadster. They manage to avoid a rather inept police officer but are then hotly pursued by Willis' character who appears to be...I'm not sure, maybe a hit man or a bounty hunter or a cop? Beats the heck out of me.

I've been keeping track of Gorillaz news ever since I've heard of the new album, and there have been hints and allusions to the new storyline through interviews and video clips, but it's all been intentionally vague (at least I hope it's intentional). Some of the things that have been hinted to are further referenced in this video, like the creepy shadowy figure that rises out of the sand. But as the new album was, according to the current story-arc for the virtual characters, made on a plastic beach in the middle of the ocean I don't know what this whole high-speed chase is about. Keeping the beach in mind, however, the final scene does make a little sense.

If I've piqued your curiosity, take a look on YouTube and tell me what you think. Am I making too much out of this? Maybe, but I'm a big fan and I'm hoping that answers are coming, hopefully once the album's released on March 9th. Soon my pretties, soon!

Some final thoughts on the Leno-O'Brien Debacle

Well, the whole controversy over NBC's The Tonight Show seems to have been finally settled. I'm not happy about it though, not by a long shot.

On January 21st, Conan O'Brien signed a settlement deal with the network to leave Tonight and got about $45 mil out of it, around $32 million for himself, and roughly $12 million for his staff (which NBC apparently did not want to cover in the agreement). Some of his staff members who were not covered by the settlement got about six weeks severance from O'Brien out of his own pocket. The dude is a class act all the way. The agreement also keeps O'Brien from appearing on another network at least until September of this year. Jay Leno will return to The Tonight Show in March.

Again, so not happy about this.

In O'Brien's final Tonight Show he gave a heartfelt final monologue, thanking NBC (the company that in the end screwed him over) for over 20 years of work they've done together. He spoke about how quitting the show was the hardest thing he's ever had to do, and thanked his fans and his staff for their work and support. One of the best things said by the embattled host that evening, however, would have to be this advice.

"All I ask of you is one thing... I ask this particularly of the young people who watch. Please don't be cynical. I hate cynicism. For the record, it's my least favorite quality and it doesn't lead anywhere. Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get. But if you work really hard and you're kind, amazing things will happen. I'm telling you, amazing things will happen."

Like I said, class act.

I don't think the same can be said for Leno. I really felt like he took an "It's not me doing this, it's the network" approach to the whole thing. And in some ways, that is correct. Oprah Winfrey, one of the few celebrities who supported Leno over O'Brien during all of this, pointed out that people who support O'Brien do so because they don't understand how the industry works. Perhaps, but for Leno to act like he had no say or power in this is just ridiculous and, frankly, kind of underhanded.

My feeling is that Leno could've stepped aside. Back in 2004, when it was announced that O'Brien would take over Tonight, Leno said on the show that he would allow O'Brien to take the reigns without incident. He stated that "I'll be 59 when [the switch occurs], that's five years from now. There's really only one person who could have done this into his 60s, and that was Johnny Carson; I think it's fair to say I'm no Johnny Carson." He also said that Tonight is a dynasty; "you hold it and hand it off to the next person." That's the Leno I would've liked to see when this hit the fan. I would've liked him to say "You know what, I had a great run on that show, it's a shame my prime time slot didn't work out, but let that red-headed kid take this as far as he can, and I'll find something else to do." If I had seen that Leno at all during the past few weeks, I would've cheered both men on.

But that Leno was nowhere in sight. A while back Leno even amended what he had said on The Tonight Show back in 2004, now saying that he was lying that night and that NBC was forcing him off the air. He's said that this host and time slot conflict was "all business". When he sat down with Oprah Winfrey on Jan. 25th he admitted that he hadn't spoken to O'Brien since the programming changes were first announced. Not cool Leno, not cool.

But, what's done is done. I may not like it, but there's not a damn thing I can do about it. Leno will be back on The Tonight Show, and O'Brien will hopefully be back better than ever in the fall on a network that will appreciate him for the talented, funny, classy guy that he is. As that old saying goes, the best revenge is living well. Maybe it'll be for the best that things turned out the way they did.

Any thoughts on the matter?

Fanfiction: When the fans want more, more, more!

Last night I, as the ultra cool & hip librarian that I am, held a program at my library about one of my favorite topics; the world of fan fiction.

Fan fiction, you say? Some of you may be familiar with the concept, others not so much. As I explained to the pair of teenaged girls I ran my PowerPoint presentation for, fan fiction (also written as fanfiction) is basically stories written by fans featuring settings and characters from their favorite TV shows, movies, comics, etc. These stories are done without the authorization of the original work's creators, and are written by fans for fans and not for profit, as it would be illegal to try to profit off them due to copyright laws. It's considered part of fan labor, which is an even broader term describing the wide variety of things fans create to pay tribute to what they're fans of, like art, youtube videos, etc.

Some of the non-geeks among you would perhaps think that all of that sounds like a colossal waste of time. Well, aren't we just a touch cynical, non-geeks who would think that way?

A. As long as you're not holed up in a basement somewhere watching hours of taped shows surrounded by memorabilia you spent your life's savings on and can't remember the last time you saw natural light, there is nothing wrong with being a fan. Period. Most fans are normal, everyday people (Yo!) who happen to feel very passionately about their favorite shows or movies or whatever. And I'd just like to point out that sports fans don't get half as much flak as the people who populate Fan Expo every year. There, I said it. But I digress.

And B. The point I was trying to make by introducing this concept to teens in my catchment area is that fan fiction is a great way to express yourself creatively with something you enjoy and probably think about a lot anyway in terms of 'what if?' scenarios. It's a very inclusive form of writing, as you can, depending on the rules of the site you frequent, write about almost anything about...well, almost anything. Plus you can practice your writing doing it, just in case you decide to try to publish your own original works.

Most authors or creators are fine with this, so long as no one's making money. J.K. Rowling has gone on record saying she supports fans who want to play around with her characters. But there are some authors who are so not okay with it. Anne Rice would be one. Part of me gets that, as writing is such a personal thing, and I don't know how I would feel if people were messing around with what I created. But at the same time, I'm like 'Be flattered you created something that has captured people's imaginations'. But that's one thing to keep in mind if you decide to write fan fiction of your own; be respectful of the author's wishes.

I am not ashamed to say that I've written a couple of stories myself. They're published online, and I've gotten some positive comments on them by a few people, so yay! I write under a pen name, however, just in case you try to look for them yourselves.

So I spent about an hour giving the skinny on what fan fiction entails, and it takes that long at least to go over it all. Terminology, history, rules, regulations. But for this post, I'll just give you a couple of links to follow. Most sites will have rules and terms listed for you to take a look.

Fanfiction.net is my favorite site, and is just about the largest, most popular fan fiction site you can find, where many different fandoms are listed. The site has gotten some flak for choosing quantity over quality, and you do have to be careful looking through it, still I like to think of it as the site for the masses, as you can post almost anything you'd like where most other sites have very strict rules on grammar, spelling and content.

Fiction Alley.org is one of the more famous Harry Potter fan fiction sites, and their strict rules for posting stories pretty much guarantees that you'll find well written works. If you want to post one yourself, however, it gets much more complicated (take a look at their rules for posting and you'll see why).

There's a lot more out there to look at. Again though, be careful, be respectful, and don't send anything to the original authors or creators; they may not support your writing it in the first place and they won't read anything created by fans to protect themselves.

Having said that, happy writing and reading!

Conan takes NBC to task (and that sound you hear is me cheering)

So about seven months ago, Conan O'Brien inherited The Tonight Show from Jay Leno, Jimmy Fallon took over Late Night and Leno got his own prime time talk show. The seasons of television changed, as they often do, and everything settled into this new world order.

Not quite, it turns out. Leno's show has been tanking in ratings, and The Tonight Show had taken a bit of a ratings dive as well, so much so for both shows that NBC has decided to take action. Their response? They've announced recently that they are planning to bump Jay back to the 11:35 time slot, push The Tonight Show up to 12:35, and then Late Night would air at 1:30.

Hearing this, I thought 'What a ridiculous response, it's like pretending nothing happened'! Jay's emotional farewell from The Tonight Show and Conan's boon to begin hosting it wouldn't mean jack squat if they just moved everyone back to their original time slots.

That was my initial reaction. The more I pondered this, the more unjust it seemed to nearly everyone involved, and the more my outrage grew. Bad enough that Jimmy Fallon would be moved to such a late time slot that any chance he would have of building an audience would be slim to none. But the most injured party, however, would have to be Conan himself. This is the guy who was promised The Tonight Show throne six years ago, and who spent those six years preparing himself and his staff to do his predecessors proud and to build a new audience at an earlier time slot. The guy uprooted himself from his beloved New York, moved down to LA to set up shop, and finally had his chance to shine. Seven months later, it could all be taken away from him. And for what? Because Leno has to have a show, and they didn't expect this new one to tank? Because NBC didn't have a contingency plan for when Leno's success grew in those six years leading up to the transition and now they want to keep him but don't know how to do it since they already gave away The Tonight Show? Come on!

Now I am biased here, I admit. I've never been a huge Leno fan (like him fine, but never made time to watch his show), and have been a long time Conan fan (what he did with Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert during the writer's strike was pure gold, and the man spent a week doing his show in Toronto!) But even to the casual observer, this would strike some as being an unfair and disappointing move on NBC's part.

Well, Conan spoke out about it, and while remaining respectful and humorous, he did not mince words that he felt that moving the Tonight Show to 12:30 would not only be a blow to him and his staff, but would also be the downfall of the franchise itself, and that he would leave the show if the move was made, despite not having any other offers from other networks. I not only fully support his decision I applaud his response. It takes some cojones to publicly disagree with your network. Way to stick up for your show!

It's hard to tell how this will play out. Some will be behind Leno, other's behind Conan. Perhaps Leno will take some form of action that will help settle things. Otherwise, hopefully, NBC will sort this out promptly and fairly...but I have a feeling they'll end up taking Leno's side (he is the Golden Boy over there). But there's got to be a better way to deal with slipping ratings than screwing everyone over, am I right? To be continued...

Idol Returns...And I end up watching it!

First off, sorry for the excessive amount of dead air lately. A busy holiday season coupled with computer troubles (I'm currently using my roomate's laptop) has slowed me down. Oh, and Happy New Year.

Speaking of the new year, here's the thing. One of the very first posts I ever published on this blog was about my raging disappointment in American Idol, previously one of my favorite TV shows. There was a very long rant about unnecessary changes made to the format, the addition of Kara, and, perhaps most atrocious of all, the fact that Adam Lambert didn't win, even though he clearly should have. I wondered then whether or not I would return to the show when it came back to the airwaves in January.

Well, that time is now. The two hour premiere aired tonight on Fox. And I watched it. Not just for a few minutes to just stick my head in, so to speak, and see what's going on. I watched the whole freakin' thing! And I may keep watching. What a difference a few months can make, huh?

Tonight was the auditions in Boston, with the typical drama, moving stories, awesome talent and people who have absolutely no business singing in public and don't seem to know it. One auditioner that stood out for me was an anime fan who apparently has been singing her whole life. She's had vocal coaches, been in musical theatre, etc. Then we had the privilege of watching and, unfortunately, listening to her screech her way through Janis Joplin. Seriously, she was bad...and then she was shocked when the judges didn't like it, even more so when they advised her to give singing up entirely. You had to feel for her though, when she berated said judges in front of a camera later, asking 'How dare you?' for suggesting she give up her supposed passion in life.

A couple of standouts who could end up making the semi finals were also showcased tonight. And as I sat and watched with my roomate I commented and talked to the screen like a always do. I didn't mind Kara's contributions, laughed at Simon & Randy's comments, enjoyed seeing Posh Spice guest judging, and, as mean as this may sound, I did not miss Paula. Overall, it was just like visiting an old friend.

So will this hesitant viewership on my part continue? I'll keep you posted. After all, it would be nice to see Simon and Ellen together once the auditions are over. And how much longer will Simon be on AI for me to enjoy anyway? In the mean time, feel free to post any and all shock at my going back to all of this below.

Twilight Hater...And Proud of It!

Firstly, December is here! Now everyone can go nuts with the Christmas season and I won't say a word. Heck, I'll even join you!

But back to my main point; I hate this whole Twilight fad. Hate it! Hate just about everything about it. Now as you may have noticed if you're a regular reader I love vampire fiction...but I hate this. Hate that it's so popular. Hate that it's giving vampires a bad name. Just...oooohhhh.

Some of you may be screaming 'NOOOOOOO! How can someone hate Twilight? It's so awesome, it's the best thing ever!' Or at the very least you might be thinking 'Hey it's not Keats but it's not that bad either; why the strong negative feelings?' And look there are some things I'm so crazy about that I can't understand why someone wouldn't like it, so I get where you're coming from. But, in a rare moment of zen, we have to realize that nobody can like everything (and if they say they do they're lying scum). And if you'd be so kind to indulge me, I'd like to take this oportunity to vent my frustration at this obnoxious fad (I can call it that, it's my blog).

So be more specific? Well, I hate Bella Swan. She's a whiny little wuss who lets her life and identity be consumed by a man. Even if he is a gorgeous, mystical, sparkly, slightly thrilling man, that don't make it right. There were a few recent articles at EW that make a great argument for Edward's stalkerish and potentially abusive behavior (see here and here).

And speaking of Edward, as the wise and vampire-savy authors at the discussion panel I attended at Fan Expo pointed out, why on earth would Stephanie Meyer make Edward a vampire if there's no bite to him, or at least not enough to make him truly dangerous. Sure, he might try to kill Bella...but chances are he probably won't. Boooooring!

Plus, real vampires DON'T SPARKLE! I understand taking liberties with vampire mythology, and Dracula was able to walk around in the daylight, so that's not the issue. But Dracula didn't sparkle. Know why? Because he was a REAL VAMPIRE! (And no I don't mean 'real' in the literal sense, I mean real in the established fiction and mythology sense)

Now I'm sure there are those out there who are saying, 'Well Al, how can you spew such venom at something you've never read or seen?' Fair point, but what you may not realize, gentle arguing reader, is that I did try reading it. At the coaxing of the teens I serve at my library I picked up the first volume and thought I'd give it a try. I made it to page 100, decided life was too short, and closed the book. My adorable, incredibly smart 18 year old cousin had assured me before hand that I'd feel like I was falling in love with Edward along with Bella. Maybe I'm looking at it from an almost 30 year old filter, but I have to disagree; I thought Edward was a jerk. And the constant back and forth dance he'd been doing with Bella up to that point was just annoying. Maybe I don't have the patience for that kind of thing at my age, though I know of many people older than me who like the series. Go figure.

Whether you agree with me or not, that is my point of view. Bring me True Blood or Buffy. That's what I'm looking for in my vampire fiction. Hell, I'll even take Van Helsing. At least their suped-up version of Dracula didn't sparkle. Feel free to cheer me on or condemn me in the comments section, your choice.

Christmas bells are ringing...waaaaay too early!

I watched my hometown's Santa Claus parade today, which for me is the official start of the holiday season. The only problem is that I seem to be behind the times in that regard.

I'm sure you've noticed this too, but it seems that as soon as Halloween was over and done with Christmas commercials began appearing on TV. Then all the consumer-related locations were decorated to the hilt. Even some places started playing holiday music (I hate that).

But one thing that I found really odd was the release of Disney's new digital 3D version of Dickens perennial holiday favorite A Christmas Carol, starring Jim Carrey...on November 6th.

Am I missing something here? It came out the weekend after Halloween, people! Does that not seem early to most of you? A film critic pointed out that most holiday movies are released the week of the American Thanksgiving. Why muck about with that?

It's not just with movies though. My library's region even had their Christmas parade on the 8th. I participated, because really how many opportunities do you get to be in a parade? But I could not shout out "Merry Christmas" while waving to people from the float, despite my coworker trying to coax me to do it. It just felt silly to be passing on seasons greetings in November.

Now don't get me wrong, I am no Grinch. Christmas is my absolute favorite time of the year, no question. But I do not like two months of it. It's just too much. By the time December 25th actually comes around I almost feel sick of it if I've had too much exposure to it. I always have to pace myself, and I do not start with music or decorations until December. Besides, it almost feels like we don't even have a November anymore. November is a great month! It's melancholy and crisp, a last burst of fall before winter officially moves in.

I will go and see A Christmas Carol at some point, because it's my favorite Christmas story and this version is in 3D. But not yet. I may have to tape the upcoming Madagascar Christmas special too, because the 17th is still too early. It's all I can do to not join Scrooge and shout out "Bah, humbug!" Anyone else feeling overwhelmed by the early Christmas surge?

Family Guy and changing times

Here's a little observation to mull around the old noodle.

Way back in 2000 Fox was set to air an episode of Family Guy entitled "When You Wish Upon A Weinstein", which contained a storyline about Peter wanting to convert Chris to Judaism so he'd be better at school. However, Fox decided in the end not to air the episode, due to fears that it would be construed as anti-Semitic. It first aired on Cartoon Network's Adult Swim in 2003 and then finally on Fox in 2004. It was included in the Volume 2 DVD set as well. I've seen the episode and I don't think it's overly offensive, as they make it very clear that Peter's point of view is the wrong one.

Tonight, nine years later, a new episode of Family Guy aired on Fox - "Family Goy". Basically it was a second chance for Peter to embrace Judaism when it's uncovered that Lois' mother is Jewish. Peter quickly changes his tune when the ghost of his step-father convinces him that he'll go to hell if he abandons Catholicism. I'll spare you, gentle reader, the gory details but some of the gags include Carter trying to lure his wife with a dollar bill on a string, Lois being tied to a cross made from a crib, shots fired at Mort (a Jewish neighbor), and Jesus himself making an appearance at the end.

My point is that this episode could be considered way more offensive then "Weinstein", yet not only has fox aired it, it did so without any fuss or uproar. Maybe we need to wait until tomorrow for the uproar, but this could show just how much things have changed in nine years, or that we've all become accustomed to Family Guy's antics, that this will just fly under the radar. Time will tell.

P.S. Loved the Super Friends opening.

Perhaps one of the Greatest Ad Campaigns Ever!

One of my all time favorite cars, sold to vampires! Could it get any better?